01 January 2008 - End of Year Report

How Time Flies

Exactly three and a half years ago today, I met the boys for the first time. Only the calendar is counting the time, though; for us, it seems like forever.

We’re in the sweet lull between choppy childhood and turbulent teenage years. Major adjustments are behind us, the really big fights comfortably far in the future. We’re just an ordinary family, going about the business of growing, learning, and living.

Zack has now been with me for almost half his life. It’s hard to believe he’s really eight years old already. And Nick! He’s a double-digit boy! He goes on and on about being a teenager soon, learning to drive, going to college... it’s both fun and frightening. He has no intellectual grasp how far away those things are, just as I have no emotional handle on how close they are. I suspect we each have some surprises in store.

The Boys

In my last update, I mentioned that Zack was showing separation anxiety about my upcoming trip away from home, but that Nick was doing okay. Zack ended up doing better with my absence in than Nick did. All that repetition sunk into Zack’s head, and he didn’t doubt for an instant (that anyone could see) that I’d come back. Nick didn’t doubt either, but knowing I’d come back didn’t keep him from missing me. He spent the first day I was gone crying at school, and then he moped for several more days.

Just for fun one day, we lopped off most of their hair. They look so different it’s not funny. They like it either long or short, but Nick wants to go back to being blond next summer. I’d forgotten that Nicky had ears! I suppose neither extreme is the best choice (how parent-like of me!), but longer is better than shorter. We’ll see what happens next.

Christmas Dog

We adopted a dog from the shelter for Christmas. His name is Sammy. Sam is somewhere between two and four years old, mostly Welsh Corgi. He appears to have been kept in a crate and only let out for walks, because he has no idea what to do with the freedom of the house (well, yes, he does have ideas, but they’re all wrong), and can’t bring himself to poop without a human standing nearby. He’s adjusting quickly, however, and is learning what it means to be part of our family. He’s very sweet and gentle; it’s hard to imagine why someone would have abandoned him. He and Gozer get along as if they’d been living together for years. The only squabbling has been over the food dishes, and I imagine that will calm down once Sammy learns he’ll never be hungry again.

Friends and Such

In retrospect, it’s been a busy year. We changed houses and changed schools, either of which is good for as much angst as one wants, but didn’t turn out to be all that stressful. All the details and scheduling were complex and demanded attention, but didn’t cause a single raised voice from an adult, or tear from a child.

We’ve done a fairly good job of keeping in touch with the boys’ friends from their old school, and they’re making new friends, too. The new school is going well; both boys like their teachers, and are learning as quickly as they can. Zack continues to need a little extra help with speech and language, but Nick is ready to leave the ESL program entirely at the end of this year.

All I Want for Christmas is...

Zack managed to lose his two front top teeth just in time for Christmas, but absolutely refused to sing the song. He did, however, belt out Jingle Bells and wear a goofy elf hat without complaining when we went caroling. It was a bit harder to get Nick to sing. He’s developed that weird self-conscious shyness so typical of teenagers, and doesn’t want to do anything that might make him look bad. So of course I told him his choices were to sing or to wear only the goofy elf hat. He sang.

Work

Business was good this year, at times very busy, and at other times just comfortable. For a change, most of the busy times came from providing customer support rather than rolling out new or updated products. Really large companies expect a different level of responsiveness and customization than mom-and-pop corner stores, and we had a number of things to address with our largest customers. Next year, however, life will drift back toward normal as I dive into developing new products again.

Hobbies

Despite the ongoing busy-work associated with maintaining the house, being Zack’s room parent at school, arranging play-dates, earning a living, and the rest of life, I’ve had time this past quarter for a couple of new hobbies.

First, I’ve automated much of the house. All of the lights can be controlled from my computer, the garage doors sound alarms if left open too long, the lights blink in the theater when the doorbell rings, and so forth. It’s been great fun, but I wouldn’t recommend this kind of setup to anyone who doesn’t like to tinker all the time. The technology just isn’t dependable enough for set-it-and-forget-it operation. The home automation industry has a term, “WAF,” for “wife acceptance factor.” Devices and procedures have WAF ratings attached. Kind of says all you need to know, doesn’t it?

My other hobby has been trying to turn my brown thumb green. In the past, my best efforts at taking care of plants were as effective as any commercially-available herbicide. I decided it was all a matter of education, and set out to learn about house and garden plants. One can quickly go overboard with gardening! We have all the usual boy-oriented plants (carnivorous ones, ones that move when touched, and Just Plain Weird ones), plus a good variety of regular houseplants. The boys help me select and care for the plants, and are learning right alongside me. If nothing else, taking care of plants helps teach patience and planning. No instant scores or quick results. We’ve planted two small decorative gardens outside, and have turned the kitchen into a greenhouse to get seedlings and cuttings ready for planting next spring. We also have several baby trees being nursed in pots, some orchids that will probably never bloom, and one bonsai.

Busy Times Are Good Times

The end of the year is a crazy time for our family. We warm up in November with Uncle Dan’s birthday, Uncle Steve’s birthday, and Thanksgiving, then roar into December starting with Zack’s birthday on the 1st, Nicky’s on the 16th, and mine on the 28th. Of course Christmas and New Years have to squeeze in there, too, plus about six of their friends who have birthday parties, and the obligatory school parties. It can be somewhat exhausting for the adults, and disregulating for the kids, but there’s no doubt that the holiday season is special for us.

At Thanksgiving, Nicky was thankful, as he is every year, for clothing, food, toys, and his friends. This year Zack only mentioned being thankful for his family...until Nicky mentioned toys. Neither boy was surprised that they themselves were at the top of my list, followed closely by the new house, the successful business, and everyone’s good health.

I wonder if I should mention having dropped the turkey? You see, the turkey slides on its rack; the rack slides in its pan; the pan slides on the oven rack, and the oven rack tilts forward.... Turkeys can fly. Trust me on this one. Halfway across the room. And when they hit the floor after roasting for a couple of hours, they slide.

Don’t All Dads Do This?

On December 15th, I let Nicky stay up until midnight to usher in his second decade of life.

At 11:45 p.m., I led him into the living room, where I had set up a kneeler (an accoustic foam pad), a small table (a stool) with a white tablecloth (a towel). I filled two small sacred vessels (shot glasses) with a mysterious ruby liquid (Hawaiian Punch), donned my vestments (an old white shirt with scarf around my forehead), and told him to kneel.

He stood there staring at me. Finally, reluctantly, he said, “Why?”

“Kneel!” I thundered.

Not taking his eyes off me, he knelt slowly.

I reached back and brought forth my ceremonial sword (a ruler with streamers taped to one end, heretofore hidden in my hip pocket—and yes, unfortunately it looked a bit like a fairy wand). Tapping him on the shoulders with the sword, I said, “I dub thee Sir Nicholas the Brave. From this moment on, you are sworn to protect the weak, fight villains, rescue maidens in distress, and kill any dragons you meet—unless you can make friends with them first.”

He blinked.

“Rise, Sir Nicholas,” I intoned gravely. He rose, and swelp me, his eyes shone and he stood three inches taller than before.

“Accept thy weapon!” I handed him his magic blade (a penlight laser of mine he’d been coveting for a year, and which I’d always told him he was too young to handle). I stopped him while both of our hands were on the blade. Being serious for a moment, I looked deep into his eyes and said, “Doest thou accept the charge? Wilt thou be brave, honest, and true?”

He gulped, nodded, and took his magic blade. “Thanks, Daddy,” he said after examining it carefully.

“‘Sire,’” I corrected him. “You're a knight now. You must use the proper form of address.”

“Yes, sire,” he said absently. He was already swooshing the laser through the air.

Midnight had come and gone during the ceremony. He was now officially a double-digit boy. I toasted him with the Hawaiian Punch and we drained our glasses and smiled goofy smiles at each other.

Then he yawned suddenly, and I sent him scuttling off (still swooshing) to change clothes and brush his teeth. “Dream of dragons, my boy,” I told him as I tucked him in. “Dream of dragons.”

Ten-year-olds are easy to impress. He probably won’t remember the silly wand or other details from the ceremony (which is just as well), but I’m betting he will remember that I treated him with respect, and recognized that it was a special birthday for him. I hope I made it a bit more special.