02 August 2004 - Two Weeks

Lots of new photos at http://www.dwightfamily.org/photo/ -- drop by and take a look. The boys have changed so much already!

It's hard to believe we've only been home for two weeks. In many ways, it seems like the kids have always been here. On the other hand, these two weeks have been full of changes and there are many more changes to come.

Bedtimes have gotten much easier. Being firm and sticking to routine have made all the difference. We don't do afternoon naps any more, either, unless the kids are really overtired, and I think that contributes to their sleeping well at night. They're averaging 10.5 hours/night now, with only minimal fuss at bedtime and one waking/wandering episode in the past five days.

Nicky has discovered that he absolutely loves spaghetti. He likes the noodles plain, and wasn't sure about the sauce at first, but now gobbles it up either way. (They hadn't had anything with tomatoes in Ukraine, so all tomato-based dishes are viewed with great suspicion by both boys at first.)

Zack is less fussy about eating than Nicky, and is almost always willing to try something new even if it looks funny.

Their appetites have settled down to something near normal for their ages. Zack doesn't try to hoard food at all, and while Nicky always wants to save things for later (usually by carrying whatever it is in his pockets), he's coming to terms with the idea of meal time. I made a place in one of the cupboards where he can keep "his" stuff for later if he wants, and that seems to satisfy him.

Now that they're more settled in, I'm making their daily lessons a bit more formal. I have an wall-sized activity board on order, but in the meantime we're just doing the "Now it's time for ______" routine, and they're okay with that. We've been practicing tracing letters and numbers, naming various body parts in English, setting the table properly, counting, identifying colors, and a thousand other things as they come up each day. It's a lot to learn!

They love the swimming pool, the park, going to the store (any store), being read to, watching animated movies (Shrek is still the current favorite), and any form of interactive game. They will also play by themselves with puzzles or toy cars for up to a half-hour at a time without screams, fights, injuries, or any noise except laughter and giggles.

(Speaking of the store, they've become well-acquainted with Best Buy. Since getting the kids, I've had to buy a new washer, dryer, fridge, and dishwasher. Oh, my aching wallet!)

We've started doing things just one boy at a time. This is especially hard for them because they never did this in the orphanage, and also because they're so close. Little by little they're getting the idea that Papa won't disappear if he's not in sight all the time, and that they're really not missing out if the other kid has to go fold clothes or set the table. I'm pushing individual activities because this is a skill they will need for school, and also because each of them learns tasks much better if taught one-on-one.

We still have our occasional meltdowns over seemingly silly things, but they're children and that's what happens. I doubt Zack will have any lasting damage from being forced to wash his hands in the sink instead of the toilet, or that Nicky will need therapy for not wearing his favorite (filthy dirty) shorts to bed, but to hear them howl, you'd think I was torturing them with my unreasonable demands.

Our days are filled with far more laughter and happiness than crying and tantruming, and -- they're children! -- the tears seem forgotten moments after they end most of the time.

Considering that their entire world has turned upsidedown, they're adapting amazingly well.

We still do our daily ritual of "You're my son, I'm your Papa, I love you," and last week, when I told Nicky he was a good boy, he told me I was a good Papa. He's done that every time since, and Zack has started doing it, too. But now Nicky goes on to say it's a good house, Gozer is a good dog, we have a good car, the food is good, his clothes are good... Eventually, I suggest that everything is good, and he smiles, nods, and agrees.

You know, I think he's right.