• Scoured websites and books for lists of documents I'd need to gather or prepare.
• Ordered tons of stuff from Amazon.
• Located copies of last three years' tax returns and associated financial documents in preparation for homestudy. These documents will also be required in Warsaw on the way home from Kiev, but will not be needed for the dossier.
• Made notes and looked up dates for the autobiography I'd need to write for the homestudy.

Fri, 03 October 2003

• Met with social worker at agency and discussed terms of the contract, general procedures, and my eligibility.
• Discussed available ages of children from Ukraine with social worker, and likelihood of a single father adopting various ages and sexes.
• Decided to adopt one boy now, another child in a year or two.
• Decided to put desired age of 0-18 months on paperwork, knowing it's unlikely I will be offered a child younger than 3-4 years old. But if I don't request a younger child, the chances of getting one will be zero.
• Signed permission for agency to do a child abuse/neglect background check when needed.
• Signed statements denying criminal history, etc.
• Gave photocopies of passport and driver's license for agency records.
• Discussed possibilities of adopted children suffering from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, attachment disorder, and development delays.
• Discussed agency support services, post-placement supervision, and legal status of children who are not readopted.
• Took draft of agency contract, list of agency references, and various other documentation with me. Told them I would decide soon about using them, but had already decided to adopt one way or another.

Mon, 06 October 2003

• Requested notarized letter from bank, stating customer in good standing with such-and-such current balance.
• Requested notarized letter from CPA, stating current salary and other income.

Tue, 07 October 2003

• Requested amendment to agency contract to specify two children, just in case I find siblings while in Ukraine and decide to take both.
• Sent request for certified copies of birth certificate to Illinois (via fax).

Wed, 08 October 2003

• Announced to friends and family that I was adopting
• Signed and FedExed agency contract.
• Received notarized letter from bank.
• Went to doctor for bloodwork and tests required for statement of health (needed both for the homestudy and for the Ukraine dossier).

Thu, 09 October 2003

• Received autobiography outline, reference forms, and questionnaire from social worker via email.
• Handed out two reference forms to friends.
• Received certified copies of birth certificate from Illinois (via FedEx).

Fri, 10 October 2003

• Mailed remaining to reference forms to other friends.
• Agency received contract, officially opened my file, and submitted child abuse/neglect clearance request to TDPRS (Texas Department of Protective and Regulatory Services).

Sat, 11 October 2003

• Attended all-day seminar given by agency on adoption issues, focusing primarily on attachment disorders.
• Signed BCIS form.
• Picked up financial questionnaire and other forms from social worker.

Sun, 12 October 2003

Finished writing autobiography and questionnaire for homestudy; emailed everything to social worker.

Mon, 13 October 2003

• Talked to insurance broker and decided to switch to Blue Cross/Blue Shield insurance. Effective date will probably be in December or January.
• Agency mailed BCIS form to BCIS so they could start a folder on me. They won't complete processing until they receive my homestudy and background clearance.

Tue, 14 October 2003

• Received notarized letter from doctor with health clearance.
• Received notarized letter from CPA.
• Was told by agency's facilitator that Ukraine would no longer accept local or state background clearance; FBI clearance is now needed (this is wrong, but I didn't know it then).
• Called FBI for instructions on getting a background clearance.
• Brother confirmed he would take care of my adopted child if I got hit by a bus on the way back from Ukraine. This emergency care commitment is required for the home study. Brother's comment: "Yes, but please be careful crossing the street!"
• Discussed with lawyer changing my will for more permanent arrangements. Cannot proceed until the child is actually adopted and living in the United States. He said setting up a trust and changing the will is routine, nothing to worry about now.

• Homestudy visit with social worker at my house; three hours; very pleasant.
• Called City of Plano to schedule fingerprint session for FBI background check.
• Called bank to get certified check for FBI fingerprint fees.

Thu, 23 October 2003

• Agency received last of four personal references.
• Visited City of Plano police department to get fingerprinted; discovered they won't provide cards and had to leave without fingerprints being taken, even though I'd called for an appointment and they had said nothing about bringing cards with me.

Fri, 24 October 2003

• Certified check arrived from bank.
• Went to City of Allen police department for fingerprints (they not only provide the cards, but charge less than Plano, and do it without an appointment).
• Mailed check, cover letter, and fingerprint cards to FBI for processing.

Mon, 27 October 2003

Proofread draft of homestudy; submitted corrections by email.

Tue, 28 October 2003

Homestudy ready to mail to BCIS, but discovered that TDPRS hasn't returned my child abuse/neglect clearance yet. This clearance must be received before the social worker can mail in the homestudy. No one at TDPRS seems to have heard or me, or knows the status of my background check.

Fri, 31 October 2003

Discovered reason for delayed background check from TDPRS—the clerk had been looking for a female with my name instead of a male, failed to find me, and put the folder aside without notifying me or the agency. TDPRS says they'll expedite the clearance now that they have correctly transcribed the information on the request.

Tue, 04 November 2003

• Agency's facilitator says she can no longer get dossiers for single males through the NAC (National Adoption Center) in Kiev. Facilitator says Ukraine is changing the law to prohibit adoptions by single males, and even though the new law has not gone into effect yet, she cannot accept my dossier. She says there's nothing wrong with my information, but that Ukraine has changed their procedures, and suggests I look elsewhere.
• The agency offers to help me adopt from Guatemala instead. I tell them we need to verify the facilitator's report and to change nothing yet.
• Frantically searched all message boards, chat rooms, newsletters, and email lists for confirmation of changes. No one else except the agency's facilitator seems to be aware of new rules or new procedures.
• Put out feelers to independent facilitators, asking if they were aware of changes or were having problems with dossiers for single males.
• Wrote to Cathy Harris (an individual who has made it her mission in life to help others adopt; she is not a lawyer, a facilitator, a translator, or affiliated with an agency) asking if she knew of problems. Cathy is very well-connected with many facilitators and would probably know of changes as soon as anyone else.

Thu, 06 November 2003

• Cathy Harris writes back saying her group of facilitators is having no problems with single male adoptions. She suggests I get a new facilitator pronto and disregard the rumors. She offers to put me in touch with other single males who have used her group (some as recently as that very week) if I have questions about the process.
• I write back to Cathy, tell her I have not given power of attorney to the agency's facilitator yet, and would love to hear from other single men she's helped adopt.
• I tell my agency that I've spoken with Cathy and am still investigating the problems their facilitator reported.
• The agency checks with other facilitators they know, but are unable to find any conclusive evidence of changes.
• Agency receives TDPRS clearance via fax. Homestudy being FedExed to BCIS today.
• Wrote to the US State Department via their official "problems with adoption" email address. (Never got a reply.)

Fri, 07 November 2003—Wed, 12 November 2003

• Spent 24 hours a day researching, and contacting every facilitator and adoptive parent I could find. Have decided the problem is with the agency's facilitator, not a rule-change in Ukraine.
• Cathy's group of recent adoptive parents responds quickly and fully, sharing pictures, write-ups of their adventures, and home phone numbers. One overnights me a DVD of movies he took on his journey.
• Agency finds another facilitator who is "pretty sure" he can get my dossier through the NAC without problems. His fees are approximately triple the fees Cathy's group charges.
• I cannot find any information about this new facilitator, good or bad, on any list serv, discussion group, or newsletters. I verify his name, address, and agency incorporation status, but cannot find any statistics on how many adoptions they've done in Ukraine.
• I tell the agency I'll have to think very carefully before accepting this new facilitator.
• I write to Cathy, thanking her for having all those parents get in touch with me, and asking for details about using her group. I am very clear that I have not decided anything yet.
• Received BCIS approval for fingerprinting. Appointment is for this Friday.

Fri, 14 November 2003

• Fingerprinted on north side of Dallas for BCIS-sponsored FBI background check.
• Cathy replies with tons of information on process and costs. Tells me the choice is mine.
• I write back, telling her I will think about it overnight.

Sat, 15 November 2003

• Decided to use Cathy Harris's group to check dossier and provide facilitation/translation in Ukraine.
• Informed agency by email that contract will need to be amended to cover only the homestudy, the dossier prep, and the post-adoption services. I will handle the rest independently using Cathy's group.
• Decided to adopt two children at once if possible. The chance that Ukraine's laws might change without warning means that I cannot count on going back for a second child in a year or two. I am therefore preparing duplicate originals of all documents and ensuring approvals are for two children. (Because I believe in being prepared for lost documents, I have been getting most things in duplicate or triplicate original all along.)

Mon, 17 November 2003

• Received completed FBI fingerprint results in the mail. (Not the BCIS ones, the independent ones based on prints taken by Allen police on 24 Oct.) Ukraine will probably not accept this background check, because the FBI will not notarize the clearance (they only stamp "no record" and the date on the back of the fingerprint cards and mail them back). May need to get State of Texas clearance instead.
• Called Texas DPS (Department of Public Safety—yeah, the driver's license people) after chasing around several other leads. DPS is the department that issues background clearances. Got instructions for obtaining clearance.
• Received Ukraine version of the homestudy for review. Fixed minor typos and added statement about adopted child(ren)'s civil rights as required by Ukraine. Emailed back to social worker for approval, printing, and signing.
• Discovered social worker who performed the homestudy is not qualified to sign the Ukraine version of the homestudy write-up (but was fine for the BCIS version). Have located a contract social worker who is willing to review and sign the documents.
• Discovered agency's license is a perpetual license, but Ukraine requires proof that the license hasn't expired. Will attach letter from the State of Texas stating explicitly "no expiration."

Tue, 18 November 2003

• Verified Ukraine will not accept the FBI clearance; they want State of Texas. (They say this will change in the future, but right now, only State clearance will do.)
• Discovered that DPS wants to commission another set of fingerprints to run through the FBI before they'll issue a letter.
• Begged, pleaded, and whined. DPS says they will consider using the otherwise-useless fingerprint cards I had done independently instead of commissioning new ones. Am sending check, cover letter, and fingerprint cards today. No promises from them, but if they can use the already-cleared cards, the resulting wait will be about a week instead of a month.
• Discovered CPA letter must be reworded to satisfy particular wording required by Ukraine. Am sending new forms to CPA for signatures.

Wed, 19 November 2003

Discovered contract social worker's license will have expired by the time my dossier lands in Ukraine. We will use her signature anyway, and plan to send an amendment chasing after the dossier when she gets her license renewal.

• Received revised CPA letter in the today's mail.
• Also received Texas DPS background clearance. Apparently the already-cleared FBI fingerprints were okay. They paid for overnighting the results to me, at a cost far in excess of the fee I paid for the clearance.

Mon, 24 November 2003

• Agency found another social worker whose license does not expire soon. We will use her for the homestudy instead.
• BCIS approval (form I-171H) arrived at agency today. I am licensed to import two children!

Tue, 25 November 2003

Overnight FedExed the originals I was holding to the agency, so all the originals are in one spot and they can put together the dossier.

Wed, 26 November 2003

Agency received FedEx, finished signing and notarizing dossier documents, and shipped everything to the Texas Secretary of State for authentication.

Fri, 28 November 2003

FedExed copy of dossier to Vlad (my translator) in Ukraine so he can be working on the translation while waiting for the official documents. He should have the translations finished by the time the dossiers arrive, and can put them together on his end, get the translation certifications, and hand-walk the complete package into the NAC for me.

Mon, 01 December 2003

• Advance copy of dossier received in Ukraine
• Waiting for Texas authentications to arrive from Austin

Tue, 02 December 2003

• Received authentications from State of Texas
• Assembled authentications and dossiers in proper order
• Made photocopy of entire package
• Forwarded dossiers to courier in Washington DC
• Courier will hand-walk documents through getting authentications from the US State Department and the Embassy of Ukraine, ship me photocopies of the authentications he receives, and then forward the originals directly to my facilitator/translator in Ukraine
• Estimated date of arrival in Ukraine: Friday, 12 Dec 2003